Charlie Bronson's always got rope.
Dear Hollywood,
Why haven’t you ever used a ditch witch in a zombie movie? I mean, can’t you see how perfect it would be?!

Dear Hollywood,

Why haven’t you ever used a ditch witch in a zombie movie? I mean, can’t you see how perfect it would be?!

I’m distracting you, you little turd blossom!
Peter Quill

gofuckyourselftomhiddleston:

I think the problem with Tom Hiddleston is that he’s a very intent listener but you’d be rendered completely fucking speechless by his “I’m listening intently” face. You’d end up just staring at his mouth.

Then he’d say something(“Are you alright? Why are you drooling? Are you having a stroke?”) and your only response would be something like, “weahrzfxdjufdckhgvhg.”

You know, it doesn’t help at all that he licks his lips when he’s listening, too.

kristelota:

Groot

kristelota:

Groot

robinade:

cecilyjeanne:

devil-whore-bitch:

They’ve got civilians trapped.

I love that while the avengers fought the aliens you also see them helping to evacuate people so they are safe. It’s not just fighting, it’s rescue as well.

YES THANK YOU! This was my huge and horrible problem with Man of Steel. No help. Buildings falling left and right. I just kept saying “There’s another 10,000 dead people…oooh, and another 10,000 right there!” And no one cared. It left me feeling a bit sick, actually.

That’s also one of the things that bothered me about Lucy. You know what REALLY would have sold me on the idea that she’s a super genuis??? If through all the car chases and death-defying stunts, there was actually  whatsoever. THAT would have been genius. I’d have been all, “damn that girl can calculate the odds to a tee, she is definitely using all of her brain.”

Guys, guys—this gifset is proof that Hawkeye is definitely a needed member of the team.

merriberri:

cracked:

“Pinterest hosts thousands of tutorials for becoming beautiful. In one day, I tried all of them.” — Kristi Harrison
5 Most Disastrous Internet Beauty Tips (Tested)

#4. Use Concealer to Conceal Your Humanity
Unless you live in a never-ending loop of tribal initiation rituals, you probably aren’t seeing many women walking around with different colored lines on their faces. That’s because the next step after applying the concealer is blending it in so the unsuspecting public never knows you’re face-tricking them. My friend Katie Willert made the observation that once you’ve applied your makeup in this particular pattern, there’s no reason to blend. After all, why bother with a skinnier face when you can shoot for LION? It’s a great point, but once I put on the contouring makeup, I felt less like a lion and more like a clown melting in the sun.

Read More

this is the best Cracked article i’ve read in a long time

merriberri:

cracked:

“Pinterest hosts thousands of tutorials for becoming beautiful. In one day, I tried all of them.” — Kristi Harrison

5 Most Disastrous Internet Beauty Tips (Tested)

#4. Use Concealer to Conceal Your Humanity

Unless you live in a never-ending loop of tribal initiation rituals, you probably aren’t seeing many women walking around with different colored lines on their faces. That’s because the next step after applying the concealer is blending it in so the unsuspecting public never knows you’re face-tricking them. My friend Katie Willert made the observation that once you’ve applied your makeup in this particular pattern, there’s no reason to blend. After all, why bother with a skinnier face when you can shoot for LION? It’s a great point, but once I put on the contouring makeup, I felt less like a lion and more like a clown melting in the sun.

Read More

this is the best Cracked article i’ve read in a long time

twelvefootmountaintroll:

i’m gonna name my firstborn “arial”

and people will be like “oh like the mermaid”

and i’ll say “no like the font”

I’m gonna be honest here, this sounds like something I would do.

whatistigerbalm:

I’m pretty sure everyone and their dog drew this already, but here’s mine too.

*squeals at the perfection*

whatistigerbalm:

I’m pretty sure everyone and their dog drew this already, but here’s mine too.

*squeals at the perfection*

OH, OF COURSE YOU HAD TO WEAR A THIN WHITE SHIRT TO DO THIS

chrisprattawesomesource:

Are you even real

Chris Pratt, I love you.